Type O Negative's frontman, Pete Steele, is the most miserable man in metal. Nothing makes him happy. Nothing ever will. But he does like goils, as he points out on "I Like Goils" from "Life is Killing Me".
B: I wanted to ask you about "I Like Goils"; is that meant humorously?
P: It is meant truthfully. What that song is based on is gay guys trying to pick me up. Sometimes when a person is in a romantic mood they can be quite aggressive. And sometimes the time will come when I have to turn round and tell them, "I like girls, so you'll have to get to the end of the line".
B: You are a bit of a gay icon though, aren't you?
P: I have the interest of a few gay guys, but I just want them to know that it's not going to happen.
B: Does this stem from the Playgirl spread you did?
P: We did in-store signings and people would show up with the Playgirl issue and quite often it was guys who would show up with copies and ask me to sign the centrefold. I would be like "yeah, that's OK, whatever", but it was impossible because the pages were stuck together.
B: Nice. So it is safe to say that "I Like Goils" will disappoint a lot of gay guys?
P: I think it will.
B: I read somewhere that you said that you are a masochist. Is that sexual?
P: No, my masochism goes only as far as self-hatred and jeopardising my future. I do things that are self-destructive, I think it comes down to the fact that I feel guilty about my success and I don't think I deserve it.
B: Anything in particular?
P: I think using drugs and alcohol and hanging out with people who are detrimental to me and just not giving a fuck what happens to me.
B: Sounds like fun, but you do seem pretty unhappy.
P: I am. I have always been unhappy, ever since my childhood. There is not a single thing in this world that gives me happiness and I don't know why. It is very difficul for me to get out of bed in the morning because there is virtually nothing for me to look forward to.
B: Do you not think that there is something that could make you happy?
P: No, I think that there is something chemically wrong with me. I have a big issue with trust and love. I cannot love anymore. It's a real hollow existence. My father died on Valentine's Day in 1995, of all the holidays to pass away. It's really blown it for me.
B: You don't think you gave up on drink and drugs as a means of happiness too soon, do you?
P: It gave me false happiness, and then I happened to realise that it was making me more unhappy.
B: Does pumping iron make you happy?
P: It makes me less miserable because it takes my mind off things; it helps me to sublimate. My anger takes over, which is much better than being sad.
B: Have I caught you on a bad day, or are you really that unhappy?
P: Every time is a bad time, so it doesn't really matter.
B: What about if you met the woman of your dreams tomorrow?
P: She would probably leave me the day after.
B: OK. Are you taking the piss?
P: This is not a joke. I have given up on everything. I would kill myself, but I am waiting for the punchline of life.
B: How about parties? Do they make you happy?
B: Casual sex?
P: It's hollow. I have learnt not to base my happiness on other people because when they leave - which they will - they will take my happiness with them. There was some arsehole who said it was better to love and lose than never to love. Well, you know what? Suck my dick.
B: What about physical happiness?
P: That is what my left hand is for.
B: And not even that makes you happy?
P: Only for 30 seconds.
B: If you had to go to a gay fancy-dress party as one of the Village People, which one would you go as? The construction worker?
P: The cop.
B: Interesting. He's really gay.
P: I took the tests to be a NYC cop about 15 years ago. It almost happened.
B: Do you think if that had worked out you would have been happy?
P: No, then I would have been even worse.
Wywiad znalazla: Red