*waves at evil_weasel* August Metal Hammer w/ Dave Grohl on the cover.



This is a column they do called "Spanish Inquisition". At their site there is a link you click on to send in a quesiton for a particular band. Several months ago it was Type O. I sent in a question AND THEY PRINTED IT WITH MY NAME!!! WHOOHOO!!! I was the only one from the USA to get a question printed looks like!! :-D (Compared to the other ones, mine was rather boring actually, wished I'd asked something stupid! LOL) Note: The Random Pete Generator (RPG) are oviously fake answers. The Spanish Inquisition - You ask, they sulk. "I'm not doing any fucking stupid interview," snarled Type O frontman Pete Steele. So we went ahead and used a Random Pete generator for his quotes anyway! Yes, dear readers,
Josh answered all your questions but Pete went off to his room in a big strop. Bullshit detector: Cardinal Swells.


1) Since you guys are constantly referred to as a 'goth metal' act, I wondered if were actually like the Sisters of Mercy or Fields of the Nephilim etc. --Daniel C., Leicester
Josh:
Why don't you sit closer. I have a very low voice.
MH:
Ok!
Josh:
Be sociable. How are you?
MH:
I'm fine! How are you?
Josh:
I'm ok! I think people refer to us as goth metal act simply b/c there are elements of both of those things but I don't really care what people refer to us as.
MH:
Who was best? The Sisters? Or the Neph?
Josh:
Probably the Sisters. RPG: My favorite band are Atomic Kitten. I wish I was them. They rule and they are very good dancers.
2) Pete: Have you considered appearing in any more issues of Playgirl? Matthew J., Liverpool
Josh:
No he won't. Oh definitely not!
MH:
Why not?
Josh:
His penis length has shrunk to only 4 inches now, instead of the 11 inches it once was.
MH:
Oh no! Why?
Josh:
I think he's getting older and the blood is going to his brain where he needs it most.
MH:
That's tragic. What a disappointment!
Josh:
For who? I hope you're not disappointed! Huh huh huh huh!
MH:
Well I think we all are, the entire Hammer readership. We like our metal heroes to have purple headed yogurt squirters the size of small skyscrapers.
Josh:
Well, hey, why are you interviewing me man! Ha ha ha ha! RPG: I call my tinky "Shirley".
3) Why is there no trick opening track on the new album? I was eagerly awaiting a new jape after the lst 2, but was left sorely disappointed. Explain yourselves! Craig S., via e-mail
Josh:
I think the trick was - there was no trick. How many times can you do the same thing? Its like pulling the rug out from under somebody whey you've been doing it for the last 10 years. And anyway, as soon as you put the disc in to your cd there's a virus that burns your hard drive.
MH:
Who's the practical joker on tour?
Josh:
Probably me. We have this guy in the crew and I send him to torture people with a video camera. But don't tell anybody b/c they'll get angry with me.
MH:
But they're going to read this...
Josh:
No, they can't read. RPG: I like reading Harry Potter. My very most favourite character is Hermione b/c she is very pretty and very clever. Harry Potter is very good but sometimes it is scary. I wish I went to a school like Harry.
4) What song are you most proud of on your new album and why? Marquietta, Florida USA (Hello!!!! LOL)
Josh:
I'm proud that after 14 years of being in the same band we can actually sit in a room and get ANYTHING done. I don't think there's any particular song I'm proud of. Its a body of work. I think that for a bunch of immature jackasses like us the fact we can do anything together at this point is pretty miraculous.
MH:
So you're saying that you get on each other's tits?
Josh:
Oh that happened after 4 months! We ARE each other's tits. RPG: I talk to the ducks in the park. Sometimes they talk back to me. My favorite duck is called Richard. He is a very clever duck. One day I hope that Richard will come and live with me. He could live in my bath. Except when I had to have a bath. Then he could live in the sink.
5) Are there any plans to release a live album in the near future? Ian G., Tividale
Josh:
Well its possible that our record company will request that but I certainly hope not b/c I hate live albums. They usually suck. RPG: I would like to do a record with Blue and Justin Timberlake. They are my favorites but I like Justin the best b/c he is the best dancer. If I did a song with Blue and Justin Timberlake it would be good b/c Justin could teach me to dance in the video.
6) Is it true you've written a b-side called 'Down in the Dark' about Mr. T's arse cheeks? Lindsay A., Stonehaven, Scotland
Josh:
Yes! Who told you?
MH:
More to the point, who the fuck told Lindsay of Stonehaven in Scotland!
Josh:
My God! I don't know! We didn't get permission from Mr. T but he's pretty old and probably looking for press.
MH:
What is so fascinating about Mr. T's arse cheeks?
Josh:
Have you every seen them?
MH:
No, I don't think I have.
Josh:
I think Peter's been obsessed for years with ass cheeks b/c he doesn't have any, he had a very big schlong but the other part was missing.
MH:
Do you think he made his schlong bigger by sucking in his arse cheeks?
Josh:
I think that's what happened. RPG: My favorite programme on television is Tweenies. I used to like the Teletubbies but I am a big boy now and Teletubbies is for babies. My friend Richard who is a duck likes Teletubbies but he is a baby.
7) There are some funny songs on your new album, like 'I Like Goils' and 'Angry Inch'. Are they meant to be funny or is it just me? Alexandra, London
Josh:
Obviously 'I Like Goils' is a tongue in cheek spoof about a gay man coming on to Peter. I dunno, is that funny? Not if you're the gay man, probably. Its typical Type O. We've always had a sense of humor where other bands seem to take themselves way too seriously.
MH:
Does Peter attract alot of attention from gay men?
Josh:
Sometimes hordes of gay men chase him down the street waving Playgirls. RPG: Sometimes I have alphabetti spaghetti for my dinner but most of all I like fish fingers.
8) Why does Pete still wear green? Matt, London
Josh:
Its the only color he's aware of. Its like arrested development. RPG: I see dead people.
9) Any chance of covering 'Don't Worry Be Happy'? Weapon, via MH message board
Josh:
(starts singing) Don't worry! Be happy! I dunno. Maybe. Maybe like a punk rock thing? Don'tworrybehappyFUCKYOU!! dang dang dang dang dang! Heh heh! RPG: I did a drawing of a house today and a cat and a rabbit.
10) Pete, I once read that you can clean dishes with your cock. Is this true, and if it is I'm never coming round your place 'cos your plates smell of smeg. Timmy M., Birmingham
Josh:
Well he can but he has to wrap a dishtowel around his penis to do it.
MH:
Have you seen him do this?
Josh:
There isn't much diswashing on the bus.
MH:
Well I'm fascinated. Does he use his hands as well, or just his cock?
Josh:
No just his cock. He holds the dishes w/ his feet and rubs them with his hard on. Its frightening. And eating dinner afterwards is even scarier.
MH:
Does he practice Tantric yoga?
Josh:
Tantrum yoga? Yes.
11) Why do you always look so depressed,
Josh? Do you want a hug? Steve, Surrey
Josh:
Do I want a hug? What does Steve look like?
MH:
We have no idea.
Josh:
I'd like to see his picture first.
MH:
Do you think you look depressed?
Josh:
No, I just think I don't look overtly happy. I think the world is full of foolish optimists and I'm just not one of them. I don't think I'm particularly negative.
MH:
Do you trust people who smile all the time?
Josh:
Aw, they're probably just stupid. RPG: I have dreams about cats and rabbits. And sometimes I have dreams about Richard who is my friend and is a duck. In my duck dreams Richard is riding a bicycle and smoking a big cigar and winking.
12) Any plans for another Carnivore album? I think teh 'children of technology' deserve a new album. Chris J., Newcastle
Josh:
Well since I wasn't in Carnivore that's obviously a Pete question. But I'd say yes, I think they have plans to...nah, I can't say that! Forget it! Ha ha ha ha ha! Lets leave that one alone.
13) In Bloody Kisses, Pete mentioned that Jesus looked like him. What other fictional religious characters do the other members of TON look like? Andy, London
Josh:
I think I look like Moses when my beard gets long enough. But I can only part a toliet - not the Red Sea. Johnny looks like the Virgin Marry - he's very pretty. Kenny, he'd be like Beelzebub or Baphomet or one of those lower demons. I dunno he looks kinda Jewish though.
MH:
As, coincidentally, did most of the people in the Bible.
Josh:
You've got 2 testicles, though. The Old Testicle and the New Testicle. I see Kenny as King Solomon maybe. RPG: When you die you go to heaven and there is lots of pop and jelly and ice cream and games like pass the parcel.
14) Type O Negative? Don't make me laugh - what are all your real blood groups? Tom H., Manchester
Josh:
I think I'm A-positive. Because my kid is so I must be b/c my wife isn't. I don't know about the other guys. God, I would't give them an ounce of my blood if they were lying dead on the street needing it! Ha ha! So I couldn't care less is the answer. RPG: I got a graze on my knee and it hurt but the nurse put a sticky plaster on it and made it better.
15) In the song My Girlfriend's Girlfriend you claim that your girlfriend's girlfriend looks like me. A) Its not me, I've never even met your missus' missus. B) If she does look like me, get rid of her. I have one eye and a lop-sided nose. Why not get your bird a really nice girl? Surely you should be able to flash some cash or summat? Shipman PI, via MH message board
Josh:
I...er, didn't really understand that. (Hammer reads the question again sloooowly)
Josh:
What is this? Olde English humour man? Fuck me! You know I sat in front of the television with 2 English bus drivers, right, and they were rolling on the floor laughing and I was like, I just did NOT get it! And I was like 'this is another world, dude!' No wonder we revolted, I mean, come on!
MH:
Yeah, but you were the puritans, we kicked you out b/c you hadn't got a sense of humour. Come on, you're an American, you love Benny Hill, right?
Josh:
But Benny Hill's more obvious!
MH:
Fawlty Towers?
Josh:
I'm sorry? I don't watch a lot of tv. RPG: I watch Pingu. He is a penguin in the North Pole and he is very funny.
16) Pete, would you consider playing Herman in a remake of the Munsters? Grym, via MH message board
Josh:
I think he IS Herman Munster and he's not playing him, he's already him. RPG: I think girls are smelly and really very stupid.
17) Where exactly is Vinnlang? I had a dream I once was in Vinnland, it was quite a nice place actually. Bob, Warwickshire
MH:
Your fans are a bit nutty.
Josh:
We definitely attract some, er, 'different' people. Vinnland is Peter's fictious land. I would put it somewhere between Greenland and Norway. RPG: I have got a cat called Ian and a rabbit called Marilyn. Marilyn wears different colored contact lenses and worships the devil.
18) Pete, you're something of an icon for gay men. Have you ever had a homosexual experience? Julian S., Dudley
Josh:
Well he sleeps with me, so the answer's yes.

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